MaryAlice Meets the Gravediggers and Other Stories
by respekt19
Summary: A series of one-shots from different characters of Twilight inspired by songs written by Regina Spektor.
1. Pavlov's Daughter

Disclaimer: no copyright infringement is intended. All rights to the Twilight series and Pavlov's Daughter (and any material by Regina Spektor) belong to Stephenie Meyer and Regina Spektor respectively.

A/N: This is set in the late 1970's Chicago before Edward met Bella. It's mostly just his thoughts on love before he found it for himself. If there's at least okay feedback I will post a one-shot once a week and if there are any one-shots that people particularly like I will build on it. My goal is to do at least a one-shot per Regina Spektor song. Thanks!

Rated:pg-13

-------------------------

God how he hated Chicago now. As a child there seemed to be adventure around every corner, or at least a nice baseball game in the alleyway. When he was younger Chicago had been beauty, splendor, a far away kingdom, mother's scolding's and gingerbread cookies, secret snowball fights in the winter and delectable picnics in the summer. In short, Chicago was home.

But now returning to Chicago as a man breaching his 70's, it seemed as though home was just a disgusting mess. In fact, Edward didn't know where to begin telling you why the windy city was a disgrace these days. Oh wait, I was mistaken, he knows _exactly_ where he would start: with the man upstairs.

Especially at times like these Edward was disgusted with Chicago and The Man Upstairs. (Of course the man had a name, but Edward though that terribly unsuited him. Why? Because no one should _ever_ name a sexpot after a president. The gentleman in Edward wouldn't allow himself to dishonor someone so great.) They were at it again. He couldn't focus on anything but the creaking springs, muffled moans and the fact that all thoughts were leaving the minds of the two people upstairs as they humped their way to ecstasy.

As a moan escaped him, Edward had to face the fact that he probably wasn't a virgin anymore if you considered the fact that he had just had his thousandth double orgasm. Edward had never told anyone, but whenever someone had sex within his readable range it was like he was having sex, and what's worse, it was like he was having sex with himself and those two (though every once in a while three) people all at the same time. And even though he enjoyed the orgasm in the moment, he always cried after because he knew he would never experience it first hand with the woman he loved. Edward knew he was destined to be alone forever, but at least he could pretend to be that way by choice.

Of course no one believed him. His family kept telling him how "good" love is finding no other way to explain it. But there was no need for that because Edward the mind reader already knew what love could do, but he didn't care about that. Edward didn't care if love wasn't his only redeeming quality like Heathcliff's, or if his story wasn't talked about for centuries like Romeo and Juliet's, he just wanted love; fast or slow, all-consuming or tepid, he wanted it. That's all he knew.

He sighed as the woman upstairs left, feeling as though he should say something to her, but how do you tell someone, especially a stranger, that their husband is cheating on them? Just as Edward was mulling this over the mistress exited the elevator and started walking down the hall. If the woman would have turned around, she would have seen the mistress take out her own set of keys and enter the apartment, and Edward wouldn't have felt the need to get onto the elevator like he did.

Once on, he saw the wife in real life for the first time. She was beautiful with long straight golden hair and big blue doe eyes, and Edward knew Alice would approve of her outfit.

"He's cheating on you, you know." It just popped out, even as he was getting on the elevator he wasn't going to do it, but seeing her in person changed everything.

She looked down at her high-heels. "I know."

He couldn't find the right way to finish his question so he made it simple. "Then why?"

She looked back at him. "Love makes you do crazy things, you know?" She looked at him questioningly.

"No, I don't know," he mumbled and got off as a new passenger got on. "And maybe I don't want to know."

Edward went back to the apartment to wait again. After a few minutes the phone rang. Edward salivated knowing it was Carlisle calling from the lobby to say he was ready for their hunting trip.


	2. The Sword and the Pen

Disclaimer: If I were Regina

A/N: A few thoughts on what would happen if Edward left again based off of The Sword and the Pen by Regina Spektor.

What if? What if? What it?

What if he left again?

It was the perpetual question in her mind. It haunted her dreams.

What if indeed.

She stopped questioning and instead searched for the answer. As she was searching she heard the rumble of a motorcycle as it pulled into her driveway.

_Jacob_, she thought.

She hadn't factored him into the equation, but soon did so as one of her best friends took his own sweet time coming in from the rain.

_I'd float. Jacob would never let me drown._

And she was right; Jacob would always come to the rescue where Bella was concerned. But Bella forgot that Jacob isn't his own man. Luckily Jacob hadn't.

--------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------

I wish. I wish. I wish.

The words were forever floating around his head to the point where wish didn't even seem like a real word anymore. Especially because his wishes never came true, but still, here he was outside Bella's house wishing that the bloodsuckers had never came back, or even better, that they had left again. Maybe then Bella would lose her love for the unnatural creatures. Then Bella would willingly come back into his arms. But what if…

It always loomed in the back of his mind even though all he saw, even when he closed his eyes, was Bella, there was always the doubt that maybe someday there would be a new girl to fill his line of sight, and where would that leave Bella?

_Alone, and broken._

And Jacob hated the thought of breaking Bella.

_The bloodsucker still should leave_, Jacob thought, just in case the mind-reader was around.

-------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------

I don't care

He had to remind himself of that while listening in on Jacob('s thoughts) and Bella's interaction.

But he did care, immensely. Mainly because of what that puppy was thinking.

_What if I did leave again?_ He thought, but it only took him a second to come to his conclusion.

_I don't want to live without her._

He had already known that of course. (After all, the guy did nearly commit suicide for the fact that he couldn't exist without her.) But he just needed to check to make sure his need outweighed what he wanted for Bella.

_I wish she could have a normal life with a husband and children_. _If only there was a way to give Bella real children, _He thought.

Poor Edward, if only he knew he could have his cake and eat it too.


End file.
